


Wanna make a Deal? - Mautzi Animation Studios

by KathyPrior42



Series: Alastor Fan Songs [1]
Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: 66.6FM, Al-pocalypse, Alastor Kills Everyone, Alastor Wins, Alastor is in Hell for a Reason (Hazbin Hotel), Alternate Universe, Asexual Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Cannibalism, Deal-making, King Alastor, New-Horrorleans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 08:00:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25739980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KathyPrior42/pseuds/KathyPrior42
Summary: Inspired by MrMautz's Alastor's Game animation and the song of the same name by the Living Tombstone.
Series: Alastor Fan Songs [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1945021
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	Wanna make a Deal? - Mautzi Animation Studios

A silhouette of a tall man with furry deer ears and antlers hummed happily as he walked down the cobblestone path to the Hazbin Hotel. There was a sway in his steps, like he was walking and dancing at the same time. The entrance awning was covered with a tattered pink circus tent, decorated with yellow eyes along the border. The ground was solid dark gray asphalt and dead gnarled trees stretched up toward the crimson sky. The building was pink, gold and reddish in color. A Titanic looking ship and a carousel were attached to the structure. The sign on the roof changed from Happy Hotel to Hazbin Hotel.

The stained glass windows in the double doors and off to the sides consisted of apples and circus tent designs. The doors burst open and the silhouette walked in from the burst of light. Large red eyes and a big yellow smile appeared on his face. 

It was Alastor, the Radio Demon.

“I’ve got a game I want to show you.”

He spoke the words in a radio sing song voice, wearing his tattered red dress coat with a big black bow tie, his hair red and black. His under shirt was light red with a black upside down cross on it. He wore wine colored pants and black tap dancing shoes with red deer tracks on the soles. A monocle was under his right eye. He walked over toward Charlie and Vaggie in the lobby. Gray-skinned Vaggie wore her usual gray tank top and stripped leggings, plus her pink bow tie in her hair white. Charlie had her fluffy blonde hair and a pale face with blushes on her cheeks. She had her salmon pink suit on with a bow tie, a white undershirt, dark pants and shoes. Angel Dust, the white spider, was sitting on the couch in his pink and white striped suit and high heeled pink boots. 

Charlie was disheartened. After having several new clients at the hotel including Angel Dust, Mimzy, Crymini, Baxter, Cherri Bomb, Arackniss, and Molly…Angel Dust was the first one to break his bad habits and almost achieve redemption. But the elite angels in Heaven weren’t accepting of sinners without them going through harsh punishment to prove themselves. Indeed, going to Heaven was near impossible. 

And with Vox, Valentino, Velvet and the other Overlords up to no good, things weren’t looking very bright.

“If I give you advice, you’ll have to play, too.”

Charlie nodded, eager for advice on how to continue with her project. Vaggie held her wrist and shook her head, warning her not to accept anything from the Overlord. But the desperate princess looked at Alastor, wanting answers.

“I’ve been here for years bidding my time, waiting and primed, until I could find you.”

His partially shadowed face briefly moved closer to theirs, causing the young women to flinch. He smiled and held up a scroll of paper that read “contact,” on it. A small red and black feather pen appeared next to it. With magic, the paper was pushed toward Charlie. At the bottom of the page were several lines for other people to sign. 

“Just sign on the line and we can be friends. I’ll be here for you until your world ends.” 

Suspicious as Charlie was, his words also tugged at her heartstrings. Alastor had done a lot to help promote the hotel in the past several weeks on his radio show. Plus he was quick to defend Charlie, her friends and the hotel, against outsider intruders like Sir Pentious, Seviathan, and the snobby Helsa. 

Charlie saw a vision in front of her from Alastor’s hand, showing her and Alastor dancing while demons lined up to the hotel, each one developing better habits. Vaggie was staring at Charlie with pride in her eyes. Both her parents hugged her and apologized for not believing in her idea to redeem sinners. The vision faded away, Charlie wondering why it had gone. Taking a deep breath Charlie took the pen and signed the contract, Vaggie staring in disbelief. Charlie looked slightly downcast, believing it was the only other option. 

Alastor walked over to Angel Dust, the spider demon happy to see the attractive deer demon near him. From Alastor’s hand, light shone from it, creating another vision for Angel. In this one, Alastor was hugging Angel after the spider demon had been freed from Valentino’s clutches. Angel was now free to do what he wanted with Cherri Bomb and his friends. Angel even saw himself reuniting with his brother Arackniss, his sister Molly, his father Henroin and his mother Aranea. Alastor handed him a bag of money and wished him luck before blowing a kiss and giving him his number.

Angel’s eyes dilated as he, too, scribbled his name on the contact. With a smug look on his face, Alastor walked over to Vaggie, holding the paper in front of her. Vaggie growled and shook her head. Alastor shrugged, almost looking like he was about to walk away. But then he presented a vision to her before she could close her visible eye: Vaggie and Charlie sitting together on the roof of the hotel, smiling under a starry sky. Alastor and Angel were nowhere to be seen. Best of all, her father Valentino was in prison where he belonged. No more catering to men and being a prostitute like she did in her human life. The message in Alastor’s eyes was clear: sign this and I’ll leave you be. 

With a reluctant sigh of defeat, Vaggie pressed the pen down and wrote her name. The contract vanished and Alastor stood in front of the girls with a look of triumph, the microphone staff in his right hand. He twirled it.

“Enjoy all your toys I will supply. You only live once…or twice.”

He then spoke in a low voice that no one else could hear: “And you’ll be mine.”

Alastor grinned and clenched his fist, as astrological symbols appeared in the swirling fiery light.

“The day you die, I’ll have my payment. Your eternal soul’s enslavement. Did you divine our dark arrangement?”

The light vanished and he turned back to his friends. “You were lovely entertainment.”

He pulled Charlie and Vaggie close to him, both of them with stunned looks on their faces.

“The dark desires you’ve been serving.”

He briefly hung upside down, pointing at them…

“You can bet that you’re deserving.”

He stood back up in front of them.

“No regret for who you’re hurting. Why it’s almost like you’re flirting.”

Alastor stood straight with a smirk on his face as he looked down at them. He was now wearing a matching red top hat. Everyone stared at him with suspicion and concern in their looks.

“Sorry, I don’t mean to alarm you,” he said. “If you ask me to stay, I would be charmed to.”

Charlie and Angel nodded their heads, while Vaggie crossed her arms. Charlie wanted him to stay at the hotel longer. She needed all the help she could get. She needed to convince her stern but protective father that her plan could still work. Lucifer had refused Charlie and her friends from going up to Heaven for good reason. 

Alastor picked up a picture and looked at it. It was an old one of Charlie and Vaggie in the 666 News Room studio. It was back when Charlie was about to make her speech about the Happy Hotel. Vaggie had told her not to sing, but she did anyway. Charlie playfully poked Vaggie’s nose in the picture, while an On Air sign was in the background.

“You all have such cozy little lives. How do you survive like that?”

Alastor, being a being of chaos and having experienced past trauma, was not one to know what a normal life was…especially in Hell. 

“I wish I knew,” Alastor said sarcastically as he tossed the picture behind him, hitting the moth demon in the head. Vaggie rubbed her head in frustration and pain. Charlie stared down at the lopsided picture, the cracked frame and the broken glass. 

Angel came over and stared down at the mess as well. Alastor turned around to the three of them. “But you got a lovely little secret. You’re tired of feeling awful small. So you…” 

Alastor roared, sending a scrambling Angel toward the couch. Angel sat on the couch where an old black rotary phone sat on a nearby table. 

“…gave Mister Alastor a call, to make a deal. Because you’re hungry, for all the sights. You want to see them.”

The contract floated in front of Angel as a reminder. Alastor’s microphone staff glowed and an angry red eye appeared. 

Appearing from Alastor’s hat was a floating dollar sign and a heart. Angel stood up from the couch and stared at both. 

“Earthly delights, you feel you need them.”

Alastor appeared in front of Charlie and Vaggie.

“Your appetites, I’ll help you feed them.”

A large bag of money appeared, Alastor laying down on a couch in front of it, cupping his face. 

“I’ll be your sweet Radio Demon.”

For a brief second, Alastor’s eyes turned into red radio dials, the surrounding areas black. Sitting on top of the couch was a little Alastor plush doll, the eyes black with red circles, wearing the same outfit. Angel gleefully picked up a pile of dollar bills from the bag and stuffed it in his shirt. Vaggie narrowed her eyes. Hell used souls, not dollars.

Charlie’s cheeks blushed at the sight of Alastor and the plushie. How cute would it be to have little Alastor in her arms. Charlie reached out for the figure, but Vaggie held her arm down with a glare. 

“And once your hunger has abated, don’t forget your friend who waited. Watched as you indulged your thirst and…”

Alastor walked over in front of the trio. He then spoke in a bone-chilling whisper holding up a long finger, “Did I mention that you’re cursed?”

Realization hit Charlie like a ton of bricks, just as a horde of shadow demons and tentacles burst into the room. The floorboards broke and collapsed as a hole formed in the middle of the lobby, tentacles bursting forth like upright serpents. Angel Dust took out his guns and fired several rounds, but they were immediately knocked away by the shrieking spirits. The money in Angel’s shirt and the bag disappeared, replaced by a large dark portal with long tendrils emerging from it. 

Charlie remembered how she had ordered Alastor to help her out with the hotel for as long as he desired. Alastor’s look told her he had done just that like he promised.

But now, he didn’t have that desire anymore. 

Tears welled up in Charlie’s eyes at how foolish she had been. Fire raged in her eyes at his betrayal. A thick tentacle wrapped around her waist and started to pull her toward the portal. Charlie yelled out, her horns sprouting from the skin of her head. Angel latched onto the floorboards with all six arms, more tentacles gripping onto his many wrists and limbs. Angel strained as he tried to hold himself against the forceful tentacles. His mouth was full of sharp teeth, his arms trying to snatch at Alastor’s legs. The smiling Radio Demon merely shook his head and stepped out of his reach. Angel’s pink webs from his fingers flew against the wall as Alastor avoided them. 

Vaggie grew moth wings with many eyes and sprouted out several more limbs that held weapons. With a roaring screech and a flap of her wings, Vaggie threw a horde of daggers and spears at him. Alastor’s shadow quickly flew in front of Alastor, taking the blows and protecting his master. Alastor snapped his fingers and more shadow monsters came to his aid. Alastor grew in size, dark antlers branching out from his head, his eyes becoming red radio dials. A prominent red x was on his forehead. All the demons were now in their full forms. Charlie blasted away several shadows with her flames, but more kept coming. 

In one last effort, Vaggie aimed her spear at Alastor’s forehead, her wings briefly pushing back the shadow spirits. She used all her strength to move her arm among the tendrils, desperate to hit that mark. Angel also helped briefly held them back with more gunshots from summoned weapons. Alastor moved his microphone off to the side, but he wasn’t pointing it at Vaggie or Angel. 

Vaggie, spear in hand, glanced out of the corner of her eye…and saw an unnerving sight. Charlie’s eyes were red radio dials, her smile unnaturally wide. She had been staring right at the microphone and listening to the soft jazz music that played from the speaker. She stared up at Alastor with utmost adoration. Vaggie felt sick to her stomach, her heart and gut crushed with anger and hopelessness. Alastor winked at Charlie and kissed her on top of her head. Charlie let go of the floor, letting herself be dragged backwards. Her eyes and form soon returned to normal, however. Realizing what she had done, she screamed in fear as the tentacles carried the princess into the gaping hole.

Vaggie screamed her girlfriend’s name as her spear was promptly knocked out of her hands by Alastor’s shadow. The microphone was then positioned in front of Vaggie and Angel. An ear-piercing shriek came from the staff, causing screams and convulsions from Vaggie and Angel. Vaggie squeezed her eyes shut and frantically covered her ears in desperation. Both Vaggie and Angel returned to their normal forms. The spirits and tentacles grabbed hold of Vaggie and Angel, pulling them helplessly toward the portal. The radio waves from the staff helped push them further back. Vaggie and Angel held hands for comfort and yelled out as they both fell through the dark hole, which soon closed. 

The three fell separately through the darkness. The world soon filled with fire, symbols and static. Hell was already burning and swarming with Alastor’s minions who looted stores and feasted on the carcasses of demons and deer. The world spun around before two swirling portals appeared, one red, one dark pink. Alastor towered over the trio in his demon form, his antlers almost touching their faces. More astrological and voodoo symbols floated and moved around Alastor. His eyes were pure black with small red irises, the monocle by his right eye. His microphone staff was in his left hand, the staff appearing taller and more dimensional. 

The world spun again. Charlie and Vaggie found themselves standing on the balcony of the hotel. Both of them trembled in fear. They glanced at the city below, getting a clear view of the cloudless blood red sky. Hovering in the sky was Hell’s moon, a dark sphere with a glowing red pentagram engraved on it.

Just then, the pentagram on the moon’s surface moved away, and was replaced with Alastor’s eyes and wide yellow smile. His monocle was red. The moon appeared to be inching closer towards them.

Charlie closed her eyes, calling upon four ancient beings to come forth. She opened her eyes, which briefly glowed in flames before returning to their normal yellow. The ground shook as footsteps approached. The stomping giant figures arrived from different directions, raising their claws in the air. 

They were the four demonic Horsemen, each of them having the heads of horses with fangs and tall humanoid bodies. War had a red coat and flaming hair. Conquest was strong and had white fur and hair. Famine had a black horse head and a mane of wild black hair. The final Horseman, Plague was skeletal in appearance. All four giant Horsemen wore leather jackets and ripped jeans, their eyes glowing red. All four of them held the moon in place with their claws, but it wasn’t going to last long.

Charlie shot Vaggie a look, telling her to go and find a safe spot. But Vaggie stayed with her, refusing to leave her side. What Alastor said next after a few minutes paralyzed Charlie and Vaggie in fear. 

“I shall consume…consume everything…”

More powerful radio waves spread through the air. They were so powerful that they knocked all four Horsemen backwards to the ground with violent crashes. The men vanished back to the ether before the shadows could finish them off. 

A long black limb extended from the Alastor moon, picking up Charlie and Vaggie. The two females were lifted from the balcony in his palm. The two of them were soon moved right in front of his mouth. Given his cannibalistic nature, he knew they were going to taste delicious. 

Alastor’s teeth chomped down hard into both of their heads and necks. All Charlie and Vaggie could feel was searing pain and an unpleasant crushing sensation. They let out sounds between screams and gags, the coughed up blood adding to the gushing red life force flowing from their craniums. Vaggie had gotten the brunt of the damage, her skin already pale and cold. More yellow teeth impaled her in the stomach, chest and upper thighs, whimpers and strained gasps of breath coming from her mouth. Her gray head severed from her neck and fell into the mouth opening, her body soon following. Charlie weakly tried to hold onto her friend’s hand, before she, too fell limp. Charlie weakly croaked out for her parents, her brain and thoughts going fuzzy. The last thing she saw before she was pushed in was Alastor’s dark maw and the outline of a long lavender tongue. 

Charlie woke a few hours later on the ground, her body intact the way it was before. Vaggie and Angel helped her up, both of them unscathed. The three of them watched as Alastor danced by a telephone booth, the background flames illuminating the outlines of dead trees. He held a telephone in one hand then reappeared higher in the sky. In his left hand was his microphone staff, a light shining from the single eye. From his right hand, green fire sparked to life along with a green pentagram. He threw cards into the air as outlined eyes and grins of Exterminators leered in every direction. No doubt he was broadcasting his carnage and showing off. 

Charlie almost wished that the Exterminators had invaded instead. 

Alastor effortlessly slid down a randomly appearing flight of stairs in the sky. After going down some more, Alastor jumped from the stairs and onto the pentagram moon. His body lowered and morphed into a black spring as he shoved the moon toward the ground…

…Right where the trio were standing. In a panic, Vaggie pulled Charlie out of the way just as the moon crashed into the ground next to them. 

The Radio Demon was going to destroy all of Hell!

Alastor’s body returned to normal and he glanced delightfully at the trio’s stunned frightened faces. Alastor laughed and held out one of his bloodstained business cards. It showed his smiling face in the lower right hand corner.

It read: 

“Alastor, a.k.a. your sweet radio demon. :3  
Wanna make a deal? Call me: 069 666 42.  
After all the world is a stage and the stage is a world of entertainment. So just sell your soul to me and I provide all you need to fulfill your desires. You wonder why I make you this special offer?  
Why does anyone do anything?  
Sheer absolute boredom!  
(Eternal suffering and punishment in hell guaranteed!)”

Alastor danced as giant cards appeared in the background, the flames adding to the chaotic dystopian Inferno. He snapped his fingers and the trio were transported into a neon colored bar. “Alastor’s Game” was displayed in purple and light blue neon letters attached to a brick wall. Angel Dust, Vaggie, and Charlie sat at a wooden table, Alastor arriving at the head of the table to throw chips on the table to start. A gamble of life and death.

After half an hour, the table was filled with piles of playing cards, chips with bold numbers on them and a stack of dollar bills toward the left. A few of the chips had the character’s icons on it. Off to the right were beer bottles. 

As they gambled, two other figures walked into the room. One of them was the gambling cat Husk and the other was a small cleaning cyclops demon named Niffty. Husk crossed his arms with a scowl, already mad that he wasn’t included in the game. Alastor suddenly grinned and held up four aces in his hand, no doubt he had cheated. Husk was furious but found himself unable to move and pounce at the man. Niffty just stood and watched eagerly on a step stool. Husk was able to grab a nearby bottle of booze and drink several gulps before putting it down. Husk and Niffty’s eyes turned into red radio dials, rooting them in place. They had already given their souls to Alastor. 

Husk stared at the winning deck in Alastor’s hand and suddenly shook with fear. He remembered Alastor saying to oblivious souls in the past, “You laid your chips on the table now. When you gamble souls, the house will always win. I’m double dealing in betrayal and I’m here to cash my payout.”

Indeed, Alastor was saying the same thing now, lounging in a tall spinning chair shaped like a throne. 

Husk tried to yell in warning, but no sound came out. Images of the contracts that the trio had signed appeared in front of them. Charlie, Angel and Vaggie found themselves unable to move. Neon Exterminator grins hovered in the background. Charlie and Vaggie stood by the table on Alastor’s right side, Angel on the left side.

Alastor raised his hands and two glowing pentagrams rotated behind him. He appeared to be chanting some ancient spell. Husk’s eyes grew wide as an instant feeling of dread shook him to his core. The cat demon saw flashes of metal flying from all directions in the dark. Alastor lowered his arms, his hands crossed over each other, his fingers pointing downwards. Husk was able to move and cry out just as he heard a series of sickening squelching thuds. More unsettling was the girlish giggles from Niffty beside him as the two of them witnessed the horrific result.

Charlie, Vaggie and Angel Dust were slumped motionless onto the table, knives embedded in their backs and heads. Angel’s white furry head had been chopped clean off, the blank faced head now on the floor surrounded by blood. Several knives were lodged into Vaggie’s back, staining her clothes deep red. One knife had gotten Charlie in a fatal part of her head. Their glazed eyes and expressions were frozen in terror. 

“I hope it was worth the life of sin,” Alastor finished with a dark chuckle. 

Husk swore several times with audible gasps, holding in a gag reflex. Alastor moved his hands behind him and strolled along toward the exit, mentioning for Niffty and Husk to follow, no doubt going back in later to feast. Niffty eagerly scurried after him in love struck admiration for everything he did. As Husk passed by and examined the bloodstained knives, his heart stopped for a second time since he died as a human decades ago.

The knives were fatal angelic blades.

Alastor later posed and danced in front of a large wrought iron gate made of bones by the Goon Salon. He turned his head all the way around as he turned to face a crowd of terrified demons. 

“You’re in my world now. Take a look around. Inside your nightmare beyond the mortal veil.”

Several horned shadow spirits with different colored triangular eyes peered at the demons before mercilessly attacking them. Alastor snapped his fingers and the “Welcome to Pentagram City” sign changed into one that read “Welcome to New Horror-leans!” Vox, Lucifer, Lilith and several Overlords were dragged into separate portals to be consumed by powerful spirits. Alastor made sure to smash and burn Vox’s TV head before sending him away. The Magne apple themed mansion quickly became a deer-themed headquarters for Alastor and those under his control. 

Alastor stood by a brick wall, flames harmlessly surrounding him. His shadow turned into its beast-like wendigo form, a monstrous skeletal deer of shadow. The shadow had gigantic antlers on its head and fiery colored eyes that matched Alastor’s. The wendigo shadow raced and rampaged through town after town. Shadows stalked and spied on hiding demons, crawling through small spaces to hunt them down. The choice was simple: surrender or die. It was easy for Alastor to play music from his microphone, possessing any denizen who stared and listened too intently. The ones who were killed and tortured immediately where the primarily powerful snotty males. 

No one was spared from the radio waves. Not even the imps and hellhounds could escape the Al-pocalypse.

Alastor posed back and forth at a sign that read Heaven on one side and Hell on the other. Papa Legba’s veves were drawn nearby. “You made a wrong turn at the crossroads.”

An old fashioned boxy TV showed Alastor’s neon face in orange, teal, white and black.

“Now you’re at the final episode. Eternity with me in Hell!”

Through a pentagram portal, humans from a city on Earth watched as a towering figure stomped through, carrying fire, demons and chaos with him. Alastor was in full demon form, with sharp teeth, claws, and a full head of branching antlers. He held his staff in his right hand. Voodoo imps and shadows rode on bony horses and creatures, one creature being a dragon. They carried skulls and heads on pikes. The red eyed denizen demons carried red and black banners with Alastor’s symbol: a microphone with a dialed eye in between clawed hands. Deer antlers branched out toward the bottom in an upward curve. Kalfu’s diamond-like symbols were in the design as well. The humans ran and screamed for their lives as the glowing white eyed demon roared, showing a mouth of sharp teeth. Buildings caught on fire and chaos spread everywhere. 

With enough human and demon souls on his side, Alastor could go for Heaven next. 

Later on, Alastor sat comfortably in a red velvet chair in a room of the Hazbin Hotel. The wallpaper was red and had the apple family crests on it. Alastor’s eyes were red radio dials. Alastor sipped coffee from an orange plaid tea cup and set it down on the table in front of him. Off to the side was a bookshelf lined with old leather bound books, vases, a white plate and a globe. On the small round table was a brown old fashioned radio, a white jug, a few white candles and a skull. A deer skull hung from the wall nearby. A picture on the wall showed a figure of Angel Dust in indigo, with the words “Addict VIP” on it. Another picture showed a furry female from Valentino’s group of clients. There was also a grandfather clock against the wall. To the right of the clock was a black grand piano. 

“Pleasure to play, how I enjoyed you. Suffice to say when I play I don’t lose.”

Alastor appeared to be talking to someone nearby. 

“Collecting on the debts that you accrued. It was such a gas. I really am amused.”

Just then, a black cat with large orange eyes jumped up on the table beside Alastor. Alastor leaned his face close to the feline familiar. 

“Have a dark thought, I’m right beside you. A casual whisper just to guide you.”

The cat revealed a strange toothy grin. Alastor moved away. “Look over your shoulder and I gone.” The cat looked around then played with the empty tea cup, looking inside. Indeed, the animals in Hell had been spared, save for Fat Nuggets whom Alastor had for breakfast many days before.

“Remember this song…”

Alastor then stood up and waved goodbye to his audience he was talking to: floating heads in separate jars suspended in liquid on a large shelf. 

They were the heads of Charlie, Vaggie, Angel Dust, Katie Killjoy, Sir Pentious, Baxter and countless others. 

“And I bid you adieu!”

Shadowy claws closed in…

Charlie gasped upright in bed. Shaking deep breaths escaped from her chest after the nightmare had passed. Charlie couldn’t keep back new fresh tears that fell from her eyes.


End file.
